A lot of people have asked whether it’s true, so we (the Bob the Spider online team) are posting to confirm that Bob the Spider did indeed win the Tour de France. Riding on Alberto Contador’s helmet and controlling him with his telepathic powers, Bob the Spider won the grand tour with a final time of 85:48:35. He would’ve gotten to the finish line considerably earlier, however, if he hadn’t gotten a phone call from God, who needed some help with quantum physics.
Lance Armstrong, telepathically controlled by a megalomaniac rat, accidentally drove to Birmingham and had to be replaced at the last minute and at great expense by a genetically modified shellfish.
It is not yet known what Bob will do with the money from his prize, though it’s rumoured he will use it to fund an expedition into Stephen Fry’s right nostril.
